Let's be honest here, dudes. We're completely screwing things up/over/to hell. Look around. Our brains/lives/relationships are a goddamn mess/disaster/train wreck. We drink too much. Our goals/dreams/aspirations are gathering dust like that ancient cereal in the back of your pantry/pair of shoes you haven't worn since high school/guitar you swore you'd learn to play. We're lost.

Maybe it's time we tried harder/faced facts/admitted defeat and just accepted our fate?

“2. Meant to Be Fucked by You, Guys”

You guys are about this, right? This is the real deal, the kind of nonsense that gets your blood pumping. No room for weaklings here, only those who crave it all. We're talking about getting dirty and feeling every fiber of the experience.

• Ignore that lame stuff you’ve been reading.
• That where the real pleasure is.
• Feel what you deserve: a wild, powerful night.

We're not begging. We’re just saying you the truth.

Guys: Dude Nail You know Fucking Tonight

Look, I'm not Playing. I'm feeling it right now and I need some Release. Don't Screw around with Small talk, just Hit Fuck me guys that already. I'm Ready and waiting for you to Get down and dirty.

Man up, I know you want to.

Dude! These Dudes {Want to Fuck Me|Have It Out With Me Sexually

I mean, come on! It's like they can't Take a Hint. I've been trying to Make it Clear, but they just {Keep Coming Back|Won't Leave Me Alone . It's getting {ReallyCreepy.

• Maybe I Should Get a Restraining Order.
• Seriously| This is getting Totally Unacceptable.

I'm Telling You, I just want to Be Left Alone in Quiet! Is that too much to ask?

Bro's Fire this Fucking Lit

Tonight, we're gonna turn it up. I'm talking about a party for the ages. We gotta raise hell and go bananas. I've got {a playlist on fire|epic beats that will make you lose your mind.

We're hitting the dance floor all night long. So, are you ready to get down??

Let's make this a story we tell for years.

Damn It, I'm Calling the Guys

Sometimes, life/shit/problems just gets too much/out of hand/stupid. You're tired/pissed off/done and the only solution is to hang out with your friends/grab some beers/get wasted. It doesn't matter what you're doing/working on/feeling. Just grab your phone and call up the bros/boys/crew. They'll understand/be there for you/probably judge you no matter what.

• It's a rite of passage/guy thing/solid plan
• A few drinks will clear things up.
• They'll probably tell you to chill out/make fun of your situation/suggest a wild plan.